And we are back, my arse and I that is!

Last week, my main focus was to put myself through the torturous life experience of attempting to nail cardio, and oh my but was this a challenge and a half! In my efforts to attempt such drastic events, I had the fabulous idea of starting my mornings off with a fierce power walk on the beach but that didn’t work out entirely well. The sky decided to put us through the misfortune of those glorious water sprinkles – how dandy. One cannot simply frolick about in such conditions, never mind a potential attempt to engage in a serious morning beach walk.

Maybe I was being too much of an Ambitious Annabel for our Winter mornings here in Cape Town, and for that, I had to move my idea into the gym and onto the treadmill, which didn’t quite have the same effect – strangely. It wasn’t so scenic and fresh – who would’ve guessed?

3 week before and after front view. SMALL progress!

3 week before and after front view. SMALL progress!

In attempts to unleash my inner Cardio Carla, my workout routine consisted of the following:

  • Monday -20 minute incline walk (incline 15, speed 5.5/6) & 20 minute rowing (level 8)
  • Tuesday- 20 min sprints (start at speed 12 for 1 min then walk for 1 min and increase speed by 1 for every new sprint) & 15 min cross trainer (work your way from level 8 to 15)
  • Wednesday – 20 minute incline walk same as Monday & 20 minute rowing (level 8)
  • Thursday – 20 minute Bicycle cycling (level 10) & 15 cross trainer (work your way from level 6 – 15)
  • Friday- 20 minute jog between level 10 and 11.

This weeks cardio was quite a challenge after the first 3 minutes of each exercise, I yet again questioned life and swore to be well behaved in the kitchen from now on, which seems to have magically happened.

In combination with my cardio this week, I also included some light sets of weights:

  • Monday, Friday – Legs and a teeny bit of abs

Squats (20 reps of 25kg total x 2, then 15 reps of 35kg total x2)

Deadlifts (super light 15kg dumbbell – 20 reps x 3 standing on two benches, which allows you to dip lower)

Abs –25 reverse crunches x2 sets, 25 crunches x 2 sets, bicycle x 25 a side, 15 toe taps x 3 sets)

  • Tuesday, Thursday – Arms and abs

Overhead dumbbell press 10kg , 3 sets of 15

Plain old bicep curls 8kg, 3 sets of 15

Tricep extention, 15kg, 2 sets of 12 reps

Tricep dips, 2 sets of 15 reps

Weighted sit ups (5kg – 3 sets of 15 reps)

Russian twists (5kg – 3 sets of 20 reps)

Leg raises (3 sets of 20 reps)

Wednesday was my retirement day from exercising, apart from my cardio. One does need a day off during the week to gather their life and thoughts. I am happy to say that I am 4.5 kg down so far in my efforts to donate a few kg to the land of unwanted fat.

3 week before and after side view

3 week before and after side view

This weeks main focus is a combination of lighter cardio and heavier weights. So far, my bottom is being a bit more well behaved and I am excited for the upcoming week of my next torturous workout routine and genuine struggle for air during cardio.

I hope all of you Sweaty Nettys are having a monstrous week and killing it in the gym. Summer is just around the corner! Almost time for suns out, bums out, Ladies!




Oh hello there,

Right so after last week’s trauma of having to all locate our arses while recognising its current scary size, I decided to get myself into gear and test my bottoms’ boundaries with none other than my own exercise and meal plan. Both my arse and I are happy to report some success and have this issue under control! How fabulous!

In the process of teaching my bottom some manners (as stated in my last post), I must say that the firmness of my rear ends personality turned out to be somewhat astounding in terms of fitness levels. Not only did I nearly die but I seemed to have somehow survived my gym routine! What are the chances? At this point, my faith in miracles had been restored.

My routine this week was to ignite my inner gym Jeanie and burn some serious calories; 500 of them per day to be exact! To make it easier for myself and to avoid chances of boredom and distraction, I came up with a plan.

This plan was to break up my cardio goal into sets of 10 minutes on different machines and to burn 100 calories per 10 minutes with a 2 minute break between making another machine my next victim, or other way around. I started off on level 8 on the cardio equipment and increased as beast mode took over.

To be honest, this worked out well, but I did start hating life after the first 3 minutes of cardio on most days, and made mental notes to never touch anything potentially fattening or unhealthy again, as one does when struggling for air on the treadmill!

For the most part I survived the torture and was nothing short of a proud Percy this week for pushing through what seemed to be the impossible.

I made friends with the squat rack every second day and did an alternation of different squats, stiff-leg deadlifts and calf raises. It’s all about trying to get to the Town of the Tight Tush now, isn’t it?

On days that were not leg days, I tried out a combination of my own ab exercises and pulled the most unattractive facial expressions while doing so as my core seemed nonexistent. A Sweaty Netty displaying such ghastly gestures is really something you don’t want to lay your eyes on in the gym. New rule: make as little eye contact as possible to avoid own personal trauma!

After the survival of my daily exercise routine, I found it best to fill up on something nutritious. After all, I did make life altering decisions on the bloody treadmill! I made meals (YES, I COOKED) that were high in protein and veggies (lots of green veggies) and super low in carbs and made sure to down at least 2-4 litres of water a day.

Another important decision which I have made is to cut out alcohol from my diet, apart from the odd glass of wine every now and then to keep the levels of sanity intact.

A walk/hike in Newlands Forrest did my friend and I well one morning on the weekend. This was obviously a less visible way to attract attention to ourselves when short of breath and gasping for air. After all, it is a less populated area with minimal eyes watching the struggle. Definitely appropriate to say that the struggle was real!

I think it’s safe to say that my first week of discipline has been a success while arse manners have been taught appropriately. So far, I have more of a well behaved arse and I am excited to take on the upcoming week.


Mycaila – Jade