BOOTY AND BEAUTY IS HAVING A BABY!

For most young couples, being the 23 and 24 year old type, and the lovebirds that happen to relocate themselves halfway across the world to meet up with travelling plans, a baby would seem to be the last thing on their minds, surely?

Parents to be!

Well my friends, in life, surprises happen, and this one seems to have been the best one yet! The thought of an itsy-bitsy dumpling, blossoming in my tummy was something that made me feel a little “OMG – IS THIS REAL?” and a little “OMG – WE ARE GOING TO BE PARENTS!!” and of course “OMG, IM GOING TO DOUBLE IN SIZE AND BE A HIPPO FOR 9 MONTHS!!”.

To cut a VERY long and complicated story short, my boyfriend is Scottish and I am South African. We both decided to go over to Scotland together from South Africa (where my boyfriend was on holiday for just under 2 years) to travel over the next 2 years. After one month of arriving in Scotland, we found out about our baby news – which happened to be RIGHT BEFORE Christmas (2016)!! It’s safe to say that Santa clearly had something else planned for us! None the less, after everything had settled, the excitement totally began to kick in – the flying kick type – the one with the extra oomph!

The bump date!

Apart from being in a foreign country, one of my first thoughts about trying to figure everything out was “OMG, WHAT DO WE DO NOW?” “WHO DO WE CALL?” “DO I GO TO THE HOSPITAL?” “DO I GO TO THE DOCTOR?”, “HOW DO I REGISTER AT A DOCTOR?”. There were endless amounts of questions that we had about what the next step should be. Basically, I was a tourist, fresh off of the plane, that had extra cargo in my tummy that I had absolutely no idea about!

After googling left, right, and center, we found a number for a hospital close by and gave them a call. At this stage I was about 6 weeks pregnant and had to wait until 12 weeks in order for them to see me and for us to have our VERY FIRST SCAN! Well, you guessed it, what a long 6 week wait that was!

Our baby is already so loved by her Dad!

I had 6 weeks of unanswered questions to get through before being able to see a midwife. “Can I drink coffee?”, “Can I dye my hair?”, “Can I eat sushi?”, “Can I have a hot bath?”, “Should I be taking extra vitamins?” –  SO. MANY. QUESTIONS. And no – Google wasn’t my friend. She seemed to just confuse matters more.

One thing that I will say is that morning sickness is a real thing, and feeling like a sick Sarah around Christmas and New Years’ time was something that I totally had to work with and take one day at a time – but none the less, I was growing a freaking human!! How CRAZY is that?

Mom to be!

If you want to find out the answers to all of my unanswered questions that I had 6 weeks to ponder about, make sure to keep your eyes out for my next post all about that!

P.S I cannot tell you how excited we are to meet our little girl.

Until next time,

Mycaila – Jade & baby

xxx

WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE THE SINGLE ONE

Being the single one? Good heavens, this could leave you questioning life, your existence and what it is you’re ACTUALLY doing on this planet. Who am I? What’s my name? Who are my friends? What am I having for lunch? Why do I want this for lunch? Why are there so many decisions in life? And my absolute favourite: What am I doing with my life?

Don’t worry, I find myself asking these questions a few times a day, and quite frankly, I don’t really have an answer.

And then, the most asked question by other people: So why are you single?

And something we probably all find ourselves thinking is: Hmmm, because no one will date me, maybe?

Because we don’t really have an answer to that one either. What a clueless bunch of Dipsy’s we are!

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Or maybe we are single because we haven’t quite fallen in love with ourselves yet, but then again, I know that you know that we know of people, who know people who are in relationships, that aren’t quite happy with themselves to begin with. So what is it, Universe? How exactly is it meant to go? Do we REALLY need to love ourselves to find someone to love us too? What a confusing world we live in!

Let’s start with the basics: Being single can be so much fun. Well, at least people make it out to be that way.

When we are single, we are seen as free. Free to go out, do what we want. We are allowed to hook up with whoever we’d like, flirt with anyone and everyone, party, grab people’s numbers (and their asses?), chat, meet up, flirt some more, and so it goes on. Like I said, when we are single, we are free. Free to do whoever and whatever we like. We aren’t owned by anyone. We are our own.

Being the single Pringle out of your group of friends can be a challenge to say the least.

We might find ourselves faced with two different groups of friends, during our stay in SingleVille. Firstly, we have the ones who include the single friends. You guys are the absolute gems – the pearlers in life!! Quite frankly, you’re on the same level of importance as a glass of wine is after a disgusting day at work. Noddy badge to you, all the way!

Then we have the ones who don’t include the singletons.

It’s almost as though they’re too smitten to see past the infatuation of their significant other. When you’re in a relationship, one starts mixing with their other half’s friends. You start going out with them, building other friendships with their friends, their families, maybe even their work partners, whoever it may be. This seems to become a routine. A routine so stuck, that one almost becomes oblivious to the other people around them, nevermind the old friendships that are being excluded.

Go out there and be THE BEST single pringle that you can be!!!

Go out there and be THE BEST single pringle that you can be!!!

When you have realised that pretty much all your friends are in relationships, except you, you might find yourself feeling alone. You might want to go out there with the confidence of a bull and make new friends, but that MIGHT be difficult if you don’t have friends to go out with when every Tom, Dick and Harry are in a relationship.

Being the single one can either break you, or make you, as cliché as it sounds. It can break you emotionally in the sense that you might find yourself feeling alone, needy, or simply just missing a “friend”.  Or, the situation could encourage a lonely Leony to put on her big girl panties, get up off the couch and conquer the world, or maybe just the day. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves!!!

Come to think of it, maybe all the occupants in SingleVille haven’t quite finished their stay yet. Maybe they’re comfortable and don’t feel the need to upgrade to the land of the “taken”. Maybe your one way ticket to that destination hasn’t quite arrived because you’re headed in a different direction, or maybe, the timing just isn’t right.

Many of us wonder why we are the single one’s, but don’t realise that there is a reason. A reason so far beyond what we are capable of understanding. You see, the universe works in mysterious ways. She speaks a language of her own. A language that we simply do not understand. We can try, but we will not understand.

If you are the single one out of your friends, it’s okay. We need to realise that whatever happens, whoever we meet and whatever we do, is meant to be that way. If we lose friends through their relationships, it’s okay. If we gain friends through not being in a relationship, that too, is okay.

Don’t be THAT twit that goes day to day in search of Mr Yes, Mr No or Mr Maybe.

Realise that you are the perfect one for yourself right now. You tick all of your own boxes. In fact, you tick them better than what anyone else ever can.

And that’s not so bad now, is it?

Oh look!!! Single ladies with a SMILE...imagine that!

Oh look!!! Single ladies with a SMILE…imagine that!

THE WAY THAT WE DATE TODAY

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“I’m not ready to be in a fully committed relationship”

“It’s not you, it’s me”

“I’m not ready”

“I need something more”

“We’ve drifted apart”

“I need time”

“I don’t know how to be in a relationship”

“It was a mutual decision”

“You aren’t a rebound”

“My ex and I are back together again, sorry”

I’m sure we have all heard these words before. Maybe you were the one to utter them. Maybe when you were the one who said these words, you truly meant them – at the time. Maybe you didn’t. Maybe when you heard these words, your entire world came crashing down. Maybe you thought you were in love. He was the one. She was my girl. They were the ones.

We cannot commit. We cannot fully be with just one person. We struggle. We struggle to make that person our everything. Our one and only. We constantly want more. We are on a continuous search for something better. Someone better. The best. We have too many choices. Too many options. The choice is ours, but we cannot decide. We think we have, but we really haven’t. We cannot commit. We don’t fully see the point.

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We are aware that our options have no limits. We spend our lives chasing after them. We struggle, but we try. We lead filtered lives, with everything at our fingertips. So close, but so far.

We live our lives for likes, comments, shares. We think followers are friends. We swipe right, unmatch, unfriend. We think that our 140 charactered tweets are enough – but it is not.

We have forgotten how to show respect. We have forgotten how to be respected. To be truthful, how to be faithful and loyal. We don’t know the real feeling of safety or security, but instead become accustomed to our insecurities, our lack of self respect, the invisibility of our morals and the non existent levels of our integrity.  All in all, we have forgotten how to love. We want to be loved, but we don’t love ourselves. We don’t know how. We believe “love” to be a like, a comment, a share. But that is not love which we advertise. That is attention. Nothing but attention from our filtered lives. We will always have a wandering eye. An eye for something better.

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We allow cheating, swearing at one another, slamming of doors, and shouting. We become the girl who he cheated on her with, the person who swore at the other first, the one who slammed the door. We see it as okay. But it is not. We think we can ‘try again”, “move forward”, “get through it” and “start over”, but we cannot.

We begin to think that we can fix things. We think it is okay to apologise over Whatsapp, an E-mail or an Inbox. But it is not. We think that “trying again” is an apology to one another, because you both finally understand where you went wrong. We tell ourselves that we both deserve a second chance, but we do not. You see, we don’t know the true meaning of love. We want to be a part of it, but we don’t know how.

In the back of our minds, we will constantly wonder if our partners might find someone better than us. Someone who could love them more. A person who could make them feel more beautiful than what we can. Someone who could make them feel worthier than what we are capable of. We fear, so we try harder. We filter even more. Pose more. We pretend. We pretend because we want to seem as “happy” as every other couple out there. We don’t want to fail. We want to fit in.

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We forget that behind the “happy” filtered life, behind all the hashtags and likes, we are all just human beings. Human beings that want to love and be loved. Human beings that want to do the best that they can for their significant other. We are human beings that want to be happy and feel appreciated. Without appreciation, we cannot be the best that we can be. We cannot be our full potential. We are all the same, but we struggle to realise.

We are “not ready” to be in a relationship because we have forgotten how to feel. We are taught what love should be like, but forgotten how to feel. We are taught that love is intimacy, but we’ve lost that. Love is passion, understanding, and support. Love is kindness, joy, and respect.

Love is loyalty, but we’ve lost that.

We struggle to open ourselves up to people. We cannot explain how we feel. We cannot seem to find the words that we want to say. We lack communication. We are scared of rejection. We stay with the person who won’t commit to us or go back to the person who once cheated, because it is routine. It is comfort. We might lust for someone else, but we stick with our comfort.

We need to learn how to stop making excuses. We need realise that we only allow what will happen. We are to blame. We need to overcome our fear of rejection and speak out. We need to communicate. Far too often we assume. Assumptions are only part of self communication.

We need to realise that there is more to life than a voicenote, than emoticons, a selfie, a status, or a hashtag. We need to realise that this is not communication. We find comfort in our likes, comments and shares. We think it is support. But it is not.

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We should not allow ourselves to be strung along on the side. We should have enough self respect to know that we deserve better. We all deserve the best. We need to communicate. We need face-to-face interactions. To look further than our touch screens and explain what it is that we want from the other person.

We need to realise that we ourselves are enough. We need to learn how to love ourselves. We need to become the masters of our own unconditional love, because without that, we will never truly have each other.

Mycaila – Jade

xxx